Wei Ying can't stop crying. He feels Jiejie's arms around him, pulling him closer like she used to do when they were younger. Everything rushes back to him all at once; over ten years of avoiding her and it's as if she was never gone to begin with. He doesn't know how long he spends crying into her shoulder. At that moment, he stops caring about his pride. He's never been good at hiding his emotions around her anyway.

After what feels like an eternity, Wei Ying's sobs finally trail off into hiccups. He sniffs a few times, still laying his head against Yanli's shoulder. Not once has she stopped comforting him, telling him again and again that everything is okay. She carries on rubbing circles on his back, waiting for him to make the first move. Too scared to properly face her just yet, Wei Ying stays there until his pulse calms down and his tears dry.

Eventually, he quietly clears his throat and slowly moves away. He keeps his eyes down, fixated on the white hospital sheets.

Jiejie reaches out for him and it takes all of his self control not to flinch away. She tucks a stray piece of hair behind his ear and strokes his cheek. Even without looking at her, he knows she's smiling.

“Look at you,” she says. “So handsome. Don't cry, come on.”

He's no longer crying but if she carries on talking then he might just start again. Wei Ying finally gathers the courage to look at her.

“Jiejie, I am so sorry—”

“I already told you there's nothing to be sorry for,” she interrupts.

Wei Ying desperately shakes his head. “No, please. Let me apologise. It was all my fault, Jiejie. I-I ruined your wedding and I hurt you—”

“A-Ying, it was an accident.”

“That doesn't change anything! You've been here for over ten years—and—and y-you're still...”

His voice trails off when she begins to pat his head, trying to smooth down the rebellious strands of hair that never stay in place. She used to do this when he was a teenager, laughing at how impossible it was to ever tidy Wei Ying's hair. The fact that she's still doing this when he's now thirty-three years old brings a small smile to his face.

“I'm only happy to see you again,” Jiejie says. “You've grown so much.”

Jiejie takes his hand. Hers feel thin and frail, but they are much warmer now; still as soft as he remembers.

“A-Ying, have you been bottling all this inside?” she asks.

Wei Ying swallows the lump in his throat. He doesn't answer her. She already knows anyway.

She sighs and squeezes his hand tighter. “There, there. It's okay. You're here now. It's okay.”

As happy as he is to see her again, Wei Ying can't shake off his thoughts. Is this it? Is this what he's been avoiding all this time? He almost wishes Jiejie will hate him; give him what he deserves and more. It doesn't feel right for everything to lead up to this when it's all he's been worrying about for the past decade.

In a way, it's harder to face than what he's been dreading. He has no idea how to go on from here.

“Tell me; how have you been? A-Xuan tells me you're a teacher now.”

Wei Ying looks away again. He doubts she'll want to hear what exactly he's been doing for the past decade.

“Yeah. I... I got lucky. A friend I used to live with became the headmaster to our current school. He basically gave me the job,” he explains.

Yanli pats his hand. “I'm sure it's because he knew how smart you are too. Didn't you get your engineering degree?”

Wei Ying winces. “Ah, I dropped out of uni.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, it... didn't really feel like something I wanted to do.”

Jiejie's hand tightens around him. His last year in uni would have been around the time of her accident. He knows his pathetic lie hasn't convinced her.

“As long as you're happy,” Jiejie says. “That's all that matters.”

Again, Wei Ying remains silent. He scans the room and stops at the door, eager for a change in subject—anything that isn't about him.

“Jiang Cheng is outside. Should I go and let you talk to him?”

“No. I want to talk with both of you. Can you get him?”

Wei Ying wishes he never asked. He slowly slips his hand out of her grasp and stands up. “Right. I'll go get him then.”

He walks over to the door and pops his head outside. The first person he spots is Lan Zhan leaning against a wall. He looks up, concern evident in his golden eyes. Wei Ying flashes him a quick smile before turning to Jiang Cheng.

“She wants to talk to us. Together,” he says.

Jiang Cheng sighs. Wei Ying doesn't miss the way his fists clench, but nevertheless he stands up and enters the room. He says nothing as he brushes past Wei Ying.

Great. Wei Ying turns around and sits back down on his seat. He tries not to read Jiang Cheng's expression too much. Between the both of them, Jiang Cheng has never been good at concealing what he really feels whereas Wei Ying is practically an expert at it. The smile Jiang Cheng is giving to Jiejie looks strained, awkward. Wei Ying hates it.

“A-Cheng, you were exaggerating when you said A-Ying is far shorter than you now. There's hardly a difference,” Jiejie says.

Jiang Cheng's forced smile widens into something that looks more like a grimace. “A-Jie, I never said that.”

Jiejie lets out a small laugh. “I can't believe how much you two have grown.”

“Every time you say that, you make me feel old,” Jiang Cheng mutters.

“You know I don't mean it like that. Although, I am curious. Two handsome men... Why are you both still single?”

Wei Ying raises his eyebrows, spotting a familiar glint in Jiejie's eyes. It's not long until Jiang Cheng is blushing, squinting his eyes at her.

“H-How do you know that I'm single?” he says.

His stuttering almost makes Wei Ying smirk. Jiang Cheng hasn't changed one bit.

Jiejie beams at them with all the angelic innocence in the world. “A-Xuan keeps me up to date.”

“It's none of his business!”

“Well?” she insists.

Jiang Cheng shakes his head. His cheeks redden even more, which really does nothing to help him. Wei Ying leans his chin against his palm, allowing a small genuine smile to tug on his lips. He's forgotten how easily flustered Jiang Cheng gets.

“I don't care for things like that!” Jiang Cheng keeps saying.

“A-Ying?” Now, Jiejie turns her attention to Wei Ying, wiping the smile clean off his face. “A-Xuan told me you brought someone with you here.”

Wei Ying lets out a nervous chuckle. “Lan Zhan and I are just friends... He offered to come with me.”

“Then you two must be very close for him to want to come with you.”

Close... Are they? Lan Zhan gives nice cuddles and has a very soothing voice... He's very patient and not once has he complained about anything Wei Ying's put him through. Even after pushing him away countless times, Lan Zhan is still here, supporting him by some miraculous reason.

Apart from that, Wei Ying doesn't know anything else about him. He knows he's good at music and he's brought up Sizhui like a son. He knows Lan Zhan likes black coffee and black tea, and the very idea of it makes Wei Ying blanch. He also knows he didn't enjoy watching Shrek that much, but he still sat through all the movies in one afternoon.

But... what did Lan Zhan even think about him? Why did he come all the way here to Ohio?

“Not... really,” Wei Ying admits, frowning.

Jiejie turns to the door, tilting her head. “Was he the one who left earlier?”

“Yes, that was him.”

“He's very handsome.”

Wei Ying laughs at that. Handsome may as well be an understatement.

“Isn't he Xichen's brother?”

Surprised, Wei Ying turns to Jiang Cheng. He didn't expect him to talk to him at all.

“Yeah,” he nods. “I think Lan Zhan is younger.”

Jiang Cheng folds his arms. He scoffs slightly, but there doesn't seem to be any malice behind it. “Huh. You're dating Xichen's brother?”

“I'm not dating him. We're just friends.”

Jiang Cheng scoffs again. For a second, Wei Ying thinks he sees him rolling his eyes. He allows it; this is much better than Jiang Cheng glaring at him.

Jiejie laughs again. “How about you, A-Cheng?”

“I told you! I don't care for—”

“A-Xuan told me he couldn't sleep the other night because you were too busy flirting with someone over the phone.”

Within seconds, Jiang Cheng is once again as red as a tomato. Even Wei Ying can't stop himself from snorting but he quickly tries to hide it with a cough.

“Why does he tell you everything?!”

Jiejie's smile is evil. “He said you even gave your number to them.”

“No, Xichen gave his number to me!”

Wei Ying raises an eyebrow, not expecting that name. “You're dating Lan Zhan's brother? I didn't even know you were gay.”

Jiang Cheng looks like he's seconds away from lunging across the bed and punching Wei Ying in the face.

“Shut the fuck up! I'm not!”

The room is once again filled with the sound of their sister laughing. If he ignores where they are, Wei Ying can convince himself he's back in Yunmeng.

“I've missed you both so much,” Jiejie says, taking both of their hands.

Wei Ying looks down at them. Yesterday, only silence drifted through this room. Both brothers had nothing to say to each other. Even if Jiejie is here to make them smile again, is it really enough to fix the broken relationship between the two of them? Is it enough to forget Wei Ying not being there for Jiang Cheng when he needed him the most? Is it enough to cast aside all of the threats Jiang Cheng has said in the past, insisting he wished Wei Ying was dead instead?

Jiejie is a good sister, but she is only one person. She can't heal the problems of two brothers who have allowed too many years to drift them apart.

She sighs, breaking the silence.

“I can't force you both to set aside your differences, but just know that whatever has happened—whatever happens—we are still a family. Nothing will ever change that.”

Wei Ying doesn't even know what to say about that. This isn't how he expected things to go. He'd been convincing himself that all he wanted was to see if Jiejie was okay; once he made sure that she was, he'd leave their lives and that was that. It was for everyone's sake. Jiang Cheng wanted him gone and Jiejie deserved to live her own life without Wei Ying there to hurt her again.

It was easier to convince himself this was the best option back then. Now... Now, he doesn't know. Every time he looks at Jiejie, it hurts. He knows deep down that she wouldn't want him to leave. She's too nice. Too forgiving.

Wei Ying sneaks glances at her and Jiang Cheng, hating himself for being unable to fill this dreaded silence. All he can do is squeeze Jiejie's hand and force a smile on his face. He's surprised when he sees Jiang Cheng doing the same. The three of them smile at each other; still tense under this awkward silence filling the room, but for now it's enough.

It's something.

 

- x -

 

The doctors say it's a miracle. Jiejie is rapidly getting better at an alarming speed. They have no idea how it's happening and, frankly, neither does Wei Ying—but he doesn't care. He visits her often; sometimes with Lan Zhan, sometimes alone. With every visit, Jiejie smiles wider and looks much better; she's no longer pale and she's starting to fill up where she has lost all the weight. Realistically, since it's only been a few days, Wei Ying understands why all the doctors are baffled. It really is a miracle if you look at it. He can only hope this means she'll be able to come back home soon.

Even so, she's not well enough to leave her bed yet, something which does not please her. Every time Wei Ying visits, he'll hear Jin Zixuan having to convince Jiejie not to rush herself. She insists she wants to try and get up, but Zixuan won't allow it. Listening to him nag Jiejie gets on Wei Ying's nerves even if he does have a point.

At the very least, she's taken off the ventilator. It's safe to say everyone was happy about that.

Everything is strangely peaceful. While Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying are still not on speaking terms, they exchange conversation whenever Jiejie asks to talk to both of them. It's somewhat awkward, but it's better than all of the fights they've been having for these past years. Wei Ying doesn't expect anything from Jiang Cheng; this is enough as it is.

They only have three days left here in Ohio. Wei Ying isn't sure what he's going to do once he's back in Gusu. For now, he pushes that to the back of his mind.

“A-Ying, is something on your mind?” Jiejie asks, already reaching for his hand.

Wei Ying quickly shakes his head. “I'm just tired, Jiejie. Don't worry.”

She nods, thankfully not asking any further questions. Her eyes flicker between him and Lan Zhan, who has quietly been sitting next to him this entire time. It's one of the rare times Wei Ying managed to convince him to stay. Lan Zhan has been leaving the room whenever Jiejie is awake, excusing himself so Wei Ying can spend time with her privately. Such a gentleman, as always.

Just then, the shrill sound of a phone interrupts the silence. Wei Ying turns to Lan Zhan.

“Who's that?” he asks.

Lan Zhan looks down at his phone. “My brother.”

“You better answer that then.”

Lan Zhan nods. He leaves the room shortly, shutting the door behind him.

“He's a very nice man,” Jiejie says once Lan Zhan is gone.

“He is...” Wei Ying mumbles. More than nice, in fact.

“How did you two meet?”

Wei Ying purses his lips, thinking back to the first time he laid eyes on Lan Zhan. Fuck, that felt like ages ago... It was when Sizhui volunteered to stay after school and help him with the new art display. Wei Ying remembers glancing up and seeing Lan Zhan by the door, as pretty as ever.

“I teach his son,” Wei Ying says, unable to keep the smile off his face. He hasn't even known Lan Zhan for half a year and yet it already feels like he's been part of his life forever. How strange is that?

Jiejie giggles into her hand. “You like him.”

Wei Ying jerks back. “Jiejie, please.”

“You do! You're so easy to read, A-Ying.”

Wei Ying bites his bottom lip. No... He doesn't like Lan Zhan in that way. It's too soon to tell, surely? He may be attracted to Lan Zhan—but who wouldn't be? Lan Zhan is very good looking and it doesn't help he's been nothing but kind to Wei Ying since they met. Even when Wei Ying was drunk, Lan Zhan still took care of him. He may be quiet and shit at holding a conversation, but that doesn't bother Wei Ying at all. In fact, he finds it easy to talk to Lan Zhan; it's as if he can be himself around him, forgetting about all of his worries. Lan Zhan is good at cuddling and Wei Ying would be lying if he said he hasn't enjoyed sleeping in the same hotel room as him these past few days... It's been a while since he's felt this comfortable around anyone.

But—wait, does that mean he actually likes him?

Wei Ying frowns.

Ah, shit.

Jiejie laughs, as if she's just heard his entire thought process.

“Have you two gone on a date yet?”

“Jiejie.”

“You're blushing.”

Wei Ying sighs. He doesn't know if Jiejie is teasing him more than usual or if she's always been like this...

“We had a date before,” he mumbles. “But I sort of told him I didn't want anything to happen between us.”

“How come?”

“I don't want a relationship. I mean... I didn't.” Wei Ying shrugs, heaving a sigh. “I don't know, Jiejie. Feelings are complicating.”

Yanli strokes his hair, fiddling with his unruly bangs. His hair is a bit longer than it used to be, and it seems Jiejie has taken a liking to running her hands through it. Just the other day, she spent a whole hour trying to braid it, only for Jiang Cheng to walk in and roll his eyes at the scene. Of course, Jiejie tried to do the same with Jiang Cheng, but wasn't as successful with his hair being shorter.

“But do you want to be with him?” she asks.

Wei Ying whines. “Jiejie...”

“Come on. You and A-Cheng are so stubborn when it comes you admitting these things.”

Admit what exactly? What is he even supposed to do? Wei Ying will admit that, okay, he likes Lan Zhan more than he's ever liked anyone in the past—which shouldn't be a lot in the first place considering he's only ever looked for sex. Feelings never mattered to him.

Even now, the thought of dating anyone felt wrong. He'd gotten so used to being by himself for all these years. Suddenly changing that didn't sit well with him.

Jiejie sighs. She trails her hand down to cup one of his cheeks, gently moving his face so he can look at her.

“A-Ying, you deserve to be happy too.”

Wei Ying flinches. As always, she has it spot on.

“Don't isolate yourself. Do what makes you happy. Don't worry about anyone else,” she says. “I know you, A-Ying. You punish yourself so much when you don't need to. For once in your life, focus on what makes you happy, instead of everyone else.”

Everything she says are all words that refuse to sink into him. They confuse him more than give him comfort. Do what makes you happy. Does he deserve that? How can he do that when he's always going to have this guilt clinging to him, reminding him of every mistake he's ever made in his life? How can she make it sound so easy?

“Jiejie, you...” Wei Ying sighs, shaking his head. “You don't know half of the things I did while you've been in here.”

She furrows her eyebrows together. “Does it matter? All I want is for you to be happy, A-Ying. Stop punishing yourself for the past.”

Even if he tries, where does he even start? What even makes him happy? Not just content, but actually happy?

His brain conjures an image of the nights he's spent with Lan Zhan; uneventful and innocent, just safely tucked in his arms as Wei Ying slowly falls asleep. Every night has ended like that, and every morning begins with the comforting feeling that Lan Zhan is still there. Wei Ying knows Lan Zhan wakes up earlier than he does, but he waits for him to wake up before leaving the bed. Today, Wei Ying woke up to Lan Zhan stroking his hair. The thought of someone watching him sleep and seeing him when he's so defenceless should unnerve him; instead, it made Wei Ying's stomach flip, filling his body with a giddiness that he thinks is as close to happy as he can get.

Wei Ying groans, resting his head on Jiejie's bed. He's suddenly very tired thinking about all of this.

“It's been so long,” he says. “I feel like I wouldn't even know where to start.”

Jiejie pats him on the head. “Everything will fall in place, A-Ying. I believe in you. And anyway... If you want a place to start, maybe you should go on a second date with Mr. Lan?”

“Jiejie.”

She laughs again.

When they hear the door opening, Wei Ying doesn't have to look behind him to know Lan Zhan is back. He stiffens slightly as Lan Zhan sits beside him again, their shoulders brushing for the shortest of seconds. Jiejie's words refuse to leave him alone. For the rest of their visit, he sneaks glances at Lan Zhan from the corner of his eyes, wondering if it's worth asking him on a second date.

Shit. He can't really be considering this, can he?

 

- x -

 

A-Ying is as stubborn as ever. Yanli is unsure whether she finds it endearing or sad that he has barely changed after all these years. She's endeared he remains as clueless as ever, but of course she's also upset he continues to blame everything on himself.

A-Cheng has not changed either. If anything, he is much more stubborn than Wei Ying. While both of them try to talk to each other in her presence, Yanli is not blind; she doesn't miss the way they stiffen whenever the other addresses them, or the way their smiles never quite reach their eyes. They're trying—but only for her sake. Yanli doesn't have to ask her husband to know that A-Ying and A-Cheng do not talk to each other once they leave her room.

She sighs. She cannot force them to reconcile, but why must they be so hard-headed?

“How are you feeling?”

Her husband's voice breaks her out of her thoughts. She turns to her side, smiling at the concern already stirring in A-Xuan's amber eyes. He must have thought her sigh meant something bad.

“You ask this every hour,” Yanli murmurs.

“Because I'm worried,” he says, reaching for her hand.

She squeezes it. Regardless of how much he worries, A-Xuan has not aged at all for the past decade. Perhaps she is biased, but her husband remains as handsome as ever. She only wishes he'd smile more rather than look at her as if she's a glass doll waiting to shatter.

“I feel... good,” Yanli reassures. “And happy.”

A-Xuan raises an eyebrow. “Happy?”

“Yes, everyone's here. I know it's all thanks to you that A-Ying came as well.”

At last, A-Xuan's face relaxes into a low laugh. He shakes his head to himself, shuffling his chair forward so he can lean closer to her.

“I'm still in shock he's actually here. He's one stubborn man.”

Yanli nods. Considering A-Ying and her husband have not had a pleasant history together (A-Ying has punched A-Xuan far too many times), it is a miracle A-Xuan even managed to make him come to Ohio. While A-Xuan is not as... proud (arrogant would be a better word, but A-Xuan will only sulk if he catches her calling him that) as he used to be, Yanli knows that it would have still been difficult for him to invite A-Ying here.

“Thank you for convincing him,” Yanli says, stroking his hand. “I know it was hard for you.”

A-Xuan shakes his head. He gives her a soft smile; that type of smile she knows he never shows to anyone but her. Even now, it makes her heart race faster, as if she's a teenager all over again.

“Anything for you,” he says.

He leans closer. Yanli closes her eyes and smiles when she feels his large hands cupping her face, his breath tickling her lips.

And then the door slams open.

Yanli jumps. A-Xuan sighs and looks over his shoulder.

A-Ling runs into the room, not at all noticing that his parents' faces are inches apart. He grins at both of them; it's hard not to laugh at his impeccable timing.

“Mom! How are you feeling?” he asks eagerly, already stealing his father's seat. Yanli laughs harder once A-Xuan ruffles their son's hair and A-Ling fills this room with the sound of him whining, insisting he's not a little boy anymore.

“You're just like your dad; always asking me how I'm feeling...” Yanli says. “I feel fine, A-Ling. Very happy now that you're here.”

A-Xuan stops ruffling A-Ling's hair, having succeeded in making it stand up in every direction. He pinches A-Ling's cheeks, earning another whine from their son. “You finally woke up?”

A-Ling pouts. “You didn't wake me up! I thought we were visiting together?”

“You and Jiang Cheng were snoring so much when I woke up. I didn't want to disturb you both.”

In less than a second, A-Ling's whole face turns red. He stomps his feet on the floor—goodness, that looks exactly like A-Xuan when they were teenagers! Yanli hides a giggle behind her hand, resisting the urge to pinch her son's cheeks as well.

“I-I don't snore!”

A-Xuan scoffs. “Trust me; you do. You were snoring down my ear last night.”

“Dad!”

Yanli laughs for what feels like the hundredth time this week. Ever since she woke up from her fever, she's been so happy. It's been forever since she had her whole family with her. She prays she can go home soon, back to Lanling where they could all be together again.

She would be lying if she said she isn't sad she missed A-Ling growing up. Before her accident, A-Ling was still a toddler, barely able to walk in a straight line. Now, he was as tall as A-Xuan when he was his age. It's a conflicting set of emotions; on one hand, she's proud her little boy has grown up so fine; and on the other, she wishes she could have been there to witness all of that.

But there's no point wishing about impossible things. Yanli is lucky she is able to be here for moments such as this.

“Where's your uncle?” she asks after a while. A-Ying and his boyfriend (or not, as he insists) left an hour ago. Yanli has yet to see A-Cheng today.

“He's coming,” A-Ling says. “He was texting for all of last night.”

A-Xuan smirks. “That Lan Xichen guy?”

“They text all the time. I thought Uncle didn't even like him.”

How typical. It seems A-Ying isn't the only one being stubborn with his feelings.

“A-Cheng is like that,” Yanli says. “The more he pretends not to like someone, the more he actually does.”

“How about you, A-Ling?” A-Xuan says, poking their son's cheek again. “Do you like anyone in school?”

“W-What?!”

“Any girls that've caught your eye?”

“No!”

Yanli has dealt with far too many stubborn men in this family. Her son's reaction only tells her that he does indeed have a crush on someone. Ah, young love... Who could the lucky girl be?

A-Xuan grins, reaching to ruffle A-Ling's hair again. This time, A-Ling manages to duck out of the way. “No need to be shy,” A-Xuan insists. “If you need any advice, you can always ask me.”

Yanli lets out a very undignified snort at that. “Like you were any better! You told me I was plain and boring!”

That wipes the grin off his face. A-Xuan turns away, trying very hard to hide the blush on his face. “I was intimidated by you, okay? You know I meant the complete opposite!”

Yanli spares him and fights the urge to laugh. She presses her lips together and looks towards her son instead, who is sporting a similar blush.

“A-Ling, don't listen to anything your father says. If you need advice for any of your crushes, you come straight to me.”

Amazingly, A-Ling blushes even more. He is resembling an eggplant rather a tomato at this rate. How cute.

“I-I don't have a crush! I don't need advice!”

Now, Yanli laughs. Now that she has succeeded in embarrassing both her son and her husband, Yanli clutches her stomach and beams at both of them.

Yes, she has missed a lot while being here in hospital, and yes, she wishes she hasn't; but she's still alive, isn't she? There's an unexplainable warmth in her body that makes her feel stronger with each passing day, giving her the second chance she'd been praying for. She's missed a lot, but she will not waste this opportunity to catch up with her family.

Yanli looks between her husband and her son, eyes softening with love. She hopes she can go home with them soon.

 

- x -

 

Jiang Cheng yawns into his hand. Even though he only has two days left in Ohio, he hasn't been able to recover from jetlag at all. At most, he had three hours of sleep last night and now he's trying his best not to pass out in front of A-Jie.

He's glad that every time he visits her, she looks healthier. Last night, Zixuan told him that the doctors confirmed her pneumonia is gone. If she carries on like this, she might actually be able to finally leave the hospital. They've been waiting for news like this for fuck knows how long; and now that it's a possibility, it's hard to explain what exactly he's feeling. Obviously, he's happy—more than happy, in fact.

It's just not hard not to ignore the drop in his stomach whenever he has to see Wei Ying here.

They've barely spoken—which is good. It's awkward enough having to force a conversation with him when they're both with A-Jie. Jiang Cheng has no plans to do it when he doesn't need to.

Wei Ying seems just fine with his new boyfriend anyway. It takes all of Jiang Cheng's self control not to roll his eyes whenever he sees him clinging onto that guy. Why does he even need to parade him around like that? Is he purposely trying to piss Jiang Cheng off?

Whatever. Jiang Cheng doesn't give a shit about what Wei Ying does with his life. Luckily, he visited A-Jie earlier and left before Jiang Cheng arrived here.

“A-Cheng, you should get some sleep.”

Jiang Cheng blinks. He blearily focuses back on A-Jie, stifling another yawn.

“Sorry, A-Jie,” he says, scratching his head. She'd been talking about something and all Jiang Cheng's been doing since he got here is space out. He's going to fall asleep in front of her at this rate. “Still jetlagged.”

A-Jie frowns. “Hmm, you do look tired.” She leans closer, lips pursing together in what looks like rare disapproval coming from her. “Is that smoke I smell on you? Have you started smoking again?”

Jiang Cheng grimaces. He should have known she'd catch onto that.

“Just a bit,” he admits. “Not as much as I used to, I promise.”

The frown on her face doesn't budge. “You only smoke whenever you're stressed.”

She's got it spot on as always. Ever since he got here, Jiang Cheng's emotions are all over the place; he's worrying about A-Jie, he's pissed off about Wei Ying, he's being hounded by Chief Nie's emails about work... While Wei Ying looks like he's enjoying this holiday of his as much as possible, all Jiang Cheng's done is lose sleep. Part of him is glad to return to normal schedule again, but he's also not looking forward to going back to Gusu.

Chief Nie was gracious enough to give him a break though he's made it very clear that Jiang Cheng is doing double hours to make up for his absence. Jiang Cheng hopes Gusu's been quiet since he's been gone. With his luck, he's going to come back and half the city's in ruins with that gang still going around stirring shit.

Come to think of it, he hasn't had the chance to properly read the emails Chief Nie has sent. He skimmed over them last night, but Xichen decided to choose that as a perfect moment to text him. Between reading work emails and texting Xichen, there isn't much competition about what Jiang Cheng would rather do—even if Xichen texts him about the most useless shit.

“Have you been speaking to A-Ying?” A-Jie asks.

Jiang Cheng sighs. “A-Jie, you already know the answer to that.”

“What's stopping you?”

“What would I even say to him? Things have changed, A-Jie.”

A-Jie folds her hands in her lap and looks at him with all the patience in the world. Jiang Cheng would rather she frown at him. With this, he feels like he should talk to Wei Ying again, even if he knows A-Jie will never force him to do something he doesn't want to do.

Nevertheless, that doesn't stop him from feeling like he's the bad guy.

“I may not know everything about what happened while I've been here,” A-Jie says. “But I do know that no matter how much has changed, the bond you two have is still the same. You two are family. We're all family.”

“Can we talk about something else?” Jiang Cheng massages his head. Just the mention of Wei Ying is giving him a headache.

A-Jie isn't as disappointed in his change of topic as much as he expects. She sits up, nodding. “Alright. Who's this person you've been texting so much?”

Jiang Cheng's headache worsens. “Ugh.”

The rest of his visit is spent trying to dodge his sister's enthusiastic questions. If it's not about Xichen, it's about Wei Ying. Jiang Cheng doesn't know which one is worse but he does know that his head is pounding by the time he leaves the hospital. A-Jie seems determined to catch up on all the years she missed out on teasing him.

He trudges back to Zixuan's penthouse, intent on spending the rest of this day passing out. It's only four in the afternoon, but Jiang Cheng is more than happy to hibernate until tomorrow. Anything to get rid of this headache.

Thankfully, Jin Zixuan and Jin Ling have remained in the hospital. Jiang Cheng has the whole penthouse to himself and he wastes no time diving on the couch, falling asleep within seconds. He's so worn out that he doesn't dream about anything; not about Wei Ying, or A-Jie, or even that weird forest that keeps popping up in his sleep.

When he awakes, it's already dark outside. He groans, pushing himself up from the couch. The penthouse is still empty, much to his surprise. One look out the window and Jiang Cheng can see it's night time; usually Jin Ling and Zixuan would be back by now.

They must still be with A-Jie, he thinks. Now that A-Jie has been staying awake for longer, the family has been trying to make up for lost time.

Yawning, he stretches his arms and spends the next few seconds trying to return to the land of the living. As he planned, he pretty much slept for the rest of the day. According to Jiang Cheng's phone, it's actually ten PM now. Great. He's never going to adjust to the time zone here.

There's no point anyway. He'll be back in Gusu in a couple of days.

Still half asleep, Jiang Cheng drags himself off the couch. He yawns several more times and walks out into the balcony. The cold air should wake him up.

He's never cared for all the fancy things the Jins have but he will admit this penthouse is very nice. Cleveland is flashy and busy as any city, and while Jiang Cheng favours Gusu's peaceful atmosphere more, he can't complain about the nice view in front of him at this moment. He takes a deep breath of the cold breeze, leaning against the balcony's railings.

Zixuan's penthouse overlooks the Stonebridge Towers, giving Jiang Cheng a perfect view of the city lit up beneath him. He watches the tiny specks of cars driving over the bridge. It's oddly peaceful in a way. Their house back in Yunmeng was near the countryside; a lot of Jiang Cheng's childhood memories were spent running after Wei Ying and pushing each other into the lakes. Gusu, while also a city, is relatively peaceful—or it was. Jiang Cheng isn't sure what's going on with it now that people are randomly getting attacked in the streets.

His phone buzzes, disturbing his thoughts. He takes it out and sighs at the name on the screen.

Jiang Cheng frowns at the weird... face at the end of the text. Xichen's always using those things. What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? He shakes his head to himself and quickly types a reply.

It takes him a few minutes to get a good picture of the view in front of him. He discards several shots that he thinks aren't good enough, grumbling to himself. After the twentieth attempt, Jiang Cheng decides this one is decent enough to impress Xichen.

Jiang Cheng squints at the little heart Xichen has sent, and wonders not for the first time why he bothers using these dumb faces. He rolls his eyes and returns inside the penthouse, settling back onto the couch.

It looks like Zixuan and Jin Ling are staying over at the hospital tonight. Wide awake at ten PM with nothing else to do, Jiang Cheng continues to text Xichen.

Jiang Cheng smirks. The image of Xichen getting up to take a picture of his own apartment just for him—even though he's already seen it—is making him want to facepalm. He's been over his apartment enough times to memorise it in his head. Jin Ling enjoys going round there too much, just to eat whatever Xichen baked the night before.

Even as he tells Xichen to fuck off several times, they don't actually stop texting. Like the previous nights, Jiang Cheng stays up texting the librarian, giving up completely on ever adjusting to the time zone here.

 

- x -

 

Sharing a room with Lan Zhan is all fun and games until Jiejie teases him about it non-stop. Now, all Wei Ying can think about is if it's perfectly okay to ask Lan Zhan to go on another date with him—or maybe he shouldn't even bother because, technically, it would be the same, wouldn't it? They're already spending this whole week together; it's practically a one week date!

No, you idiot, his brain chides in. A date will have some sort of establishment that he's interested in Lan Zhan. It's supposed to go somewhere, develop whatever the fuck their relationship is!

He thinks, anyway.

Wei Ying has actually never bothered dating anyone seriously before. There was a time when Wen Qing thought Wen Ning and him had a thing going on, but Wei Ying valued their friendship too much to risk it. Besides, both of them established it wouldn't work out. They cared for each other—just not in that way.

Aside from that... Wei Ying doesn't have much experience with the whole romance thing. He's great when it comes to sex; he knows how to give a good blowjob and more than enough people have told him he's a good fuck—but romance? Feelings? He's at a dead end. The only flirting he knows is how to get someone to lead him into the bedroom... He's already sharing a bedroom with Lan Zhan anyway. Most importantly, he doesn't want to have sex with him!

Well.

Well...

Wei Ying clutches his head and smacks his cheeks. Shut up, improper thoughts! Lan Zhan is a gentleman! He doesn't deserve this!

He rolls off the bed. What time is it anyway? As usual, Lan Zhan woke up before him, but Wei Ying vaguely remembers he left earlier to do some shopping for both of them. Apparently, they've ran out of food.

He spends a few minutes standing there and spacing out, still trying to wake himself up. Lan Zhan would be back soon, hopefully. He should get dressed before he gets back.

Wei Ying sluggishly makes his way towards his suitcase. His half of the room is littered with clothes and shoes all over the floor, whereas Lan Zhan's is as neat as ever. He shrugs to himself and throws out a bunch of outfits, frowning at each and every one. Wen Qing actually packed for him because he'd been too busy organising lesson plans for the substitute teacher that was supposed to take his place. As thankful as he is for Wen Qing's help, it takes him twice as long to find what he's looking for.

Where the fuck is his hairbrush?

Grumbling, he yanks open the zippers and takes a peak inside. Wen Qing's packed so much unnecessary shit; seriously, why did she include an English dictionary here? What the fuck? Wei Ying throws it aside and shoves his hand into the large pocket. His eyebrows raise when he grabs something that looks like it could be shaped like a brush.

Oh, wait. No, it's a bottle.

He rolls his eyes and—

What the fuck.

He yelps and throws the bottle across the room. What the fuck?!

He sits there in shock for a few seconds before realising that he should probably get that bottle in case Lan Zhan finds it. Wei Ying crawls across the hotel room, groaning when he finds it under their bed. He slips under and glares at it once it's back in his hands, knowing exactly why Wen Qing decided to pack this of all things.

Lube. Fucking lube. He'll kill her.

“Wei Ying. What are you doing?”

Wei Ying screams. He lurches up, banging his head. Lan Zhan? Lan Zhan?! When did he get back? He panics for a few seconds, rolling around on his back and peeking out from under the bed.

There is Lan Zhan, staring down at him with the emotional capacity of a fork. He says nothing.

Wei Ying makes sure to hide the bottle of lube, forcing a painful grin on his face.

“Ah, Lan Zhan! Hello! Welcome home—I mean back! Welcome back! This isn't our home—or your home. Not ours. Anyway!” Wei Ying laughs, wishing for the ground to swallow him up.

“Why are you on the floor?” Lan Zhan asks.

“That's a very good question, Lan Zhan. I'm... admiring how soft this carpet is. Seriously, the Jins are so rich that they can afford hotels this good.”

Lan Zhan stares at him. Wei Ying has not gotten rid of the smile on his face. His cheeks are hurting and so is his back. This carpet isn't soft at all.

“What are you staring at me for?” Wei Ying says. “Go, go, Lan Zhan. Don't mind me. Go back to whatever you were doing.”

“It is dirty down there. Get up.”

“I will in a bit! Just go! Leave me to admire this carpet more!”

Lan Zhan furrows his eyebrows. He shakes his head and sighs, but finally turns away to sort through all of the food he's bought for them. Wei Ying makes sure he's distracted enough with that before scurrying out from under the bed, shoving the bottle of lube deep into his suitcase where it will never—NEVER—see the light of day.

He lets out a sigh of relief. That must have taken out ten years off his lifespan.

Fucking Wen Qing. Why did she pack lube?

He dives back into the bed and grabs his phone, typing with all his rage.

Wei Ying groans and sinks back under the blanket. First Jiejie, and now Wen Qing! At this rate, he won't be able to look at Lan Zhan in the eye!

He glares at his screen. For the rest of the morning, he tries to function like a normal human being instead of getting flustered whenever Lan Zhan looks at him. This is stupid! He's thirty-three years old and here he is acting like some school kid with a crush! Lan Zhan is hot but that doesn't mean Wei Ying wants to get laid! He's still having trouble actually accepting that he might just like Lan Zhan more than he should; he doesn't want to rush into things with his dick instead of his brain.

But, it seems that everything is trying to work against him.

A few hours later, Wei Ying is finally getting ready to visit Jiejie again. He still hasn't found his hairbrush and he's reluctant to search through his suitcase again in case Wen Qing has packed more questionable things in there. He knocks on the bathroom door, remembering that he was brushing his hair last night.

“Hey, Lan Zhan, have you seen my—”

Wei Ying's eyes nearly boggle out of their sockets. He stands frozen by the door, staring straight at Lan Zhan who is only wearing a towel around his waist. Water droplets are dripping down his abs, telling Wei Ying that he's only just stepped out of the shower and he should probably stop admiring Lan Zhan's evident six pack. Shit, you could scrub laundry on those abs with how firm they look. And—wait, what's that? A tattoo? There's a strange symbol on Lan Zhan's chest, shaped like a sun. The more Wei Ying looks at it, the more he thinks it's not a tattoo but more like... a burn? A burn scar?

Why is it shaped like a sun though? Don't kinky BDSM people do that if they want to mark their partners? Wei Ying once slept with some girl who asked him if he could do that to her. Suffice to say, Wei Ying politely declined and escaped the fuck out of that place.

He gulps down the lump in his throat, forcing himself to stop ogling the strange mark. It looks nice and all... Edgy, even. Wei Ying's eyes travel down, following the light trail of hair disappearing into Lan Zhan's towel.

Fuck.

Bad Wei Ying! Stop staring at his crotch!

Wei Ying jumps and desperately looks around—anywhere but Lan Zhan's six pack!

“Ah—shit! S-Sorry! I-I was... I thought... you... I... I was looking for my... hairbrush... but I-I think I lost it...” Wei Ying stutters, feeling his cheeks redden as the seconds pass.

“I have one,” Lan Zhan says. His voice is as calm as ever, but that does nothing to silence Wei Ying's mental shrieking.

Alarm bells ring inside his head when Lan Zhan approaches. He stiffens as Lan Zhan brushes past him, assaulting him with the scent of sandalwood and fresh shampoo. He bends down to root through his suitcase and all Wei Ying can do is pray to the heavens above that the fucking towel around his waist stays in place for his own sanity.

“Here,” Lan Zhan says, offering Wei Ying his hairbrush.

Wei Ying all but snatches it away. He clings it to his chest, still unable to look at Lan Zhan in the eyes. “O-Oh... Oh. Thanks.”

“No need to thank me.”

Lan Zhan turns back for the bathroom. Now that Wei Ying isn't staring at his ass, he notices his back.

Now, he frowns. Lan Zhan has numerous scars all over his back—and not just a few but a lot. The whole expanse of his back is practically covered in lashes and scars, and although they look old and healed, Wei Ying can't help but wince.

Whip scars?

What the fuck does Lan Zhan do? Whip and burn scars? Is he some sort of hardcore BDSM enthusiast? What the fuck?

For the sake of his slowly diminishing sanity, Wei Ying spins around and dives back into the bed. He considers screaming into a pillow, but that will not help him. Instead, he grabs his phone and begins to text Wen Qing again.

She has a good point there. He's never trusted anyone enough to consider BDSM, but are you supposed to go that hard when you whip someone? Doesn't it just leave a few red marks? That's what it looks like in porn, anyway. Wei Ying's pretty sure he'll get turned off at the sight of someone looking like they got their back shredded by Wolverine.

Lan Zhan leaves the bathroom, now fully dressed. Wei Ying is thankful, although he can't deny the shameful part of his brain mourning the lack of abs on display. Today, Lan Zhan is wearing a light blue V-neck sweater with a black blazer over it, paired with black pants. Smart, as always.

It's still not enough to forget the image now burned into his mind. Wei Ying rolls around on the bed, mentally whining at the direction his thoughts are taking him. He carries on texting Wen Qing, hoping she'll get his mind off things before he's really tempted to put that stupid bottle of lube to use.

Wen Ning? A date? Wow. Wei Ying sits up, scratching his head. Wow. That's something you don't see everyday. As far as he knows, Wen Ning has always been too shy to get with anyone. Huh. Good for him! It's about time someone appreciated how much of a nice guy he is.

Wei Ying nearly drops his phone. Xuanyu? Mo Xuanyu? His brother-in-law?! How the fuck? He hasn't spoken to him in ages. After Wei Ying got back from America, he tried not to contact the Jins too much. Xuanyu had been his main source of news when it came to Jiejie; Wei Ying couldn't bear hearing about her after he knew he'd been too much of a coward to even visit her when he was in Ohio.

He sneaks another glance at Lan Zhan who is sitting down by the couch, reading a book. They should be heading off to visit Jiejie by now, but here he is having a crisis over Lan Zhan. This is so silly.

Wei Ying sits up with a sigh. He sees Lan Zhan turning to him from the corner of his eyes, waiting. The sensible part of his brain is telling him they should just go visit Jiejie—but then again, she'll probably tease him about this too. Really, there's no escape from any of this.

And he's never been particularly sensible anyway.

Fuck it.

“Say, Lan Zhan... I was wondering... Seeing as we're already spending so much time together... I know I said ages ago that I didn't want anything between us... and... uh, to be honest, I still don't know what's really going on here... but...”

Ah, fuck. He's not doing well with this. Wei Ying scowls at his hands and forces himself to look at Lan Zhan. His golden eyes pierce into him, head slightly tilted although there is obvious concern etched on his face.

Wei Ying takes a deep breath. “I'm trying to ask you... if you want to go on a date with me.”

Lan Zhan's eyebrows twitch. “A date.”

Blushing, Wei Ying nods. “Yes. Like. Us. Spending time together—even though we're already together a lot these days. But I want a proper date—if you'd like that as well.”

His heart almost stops when Lan Zhan's lips tug into a small smile. “I would.”

Wei Ying bounces on the bed, unable to keep the grin off his face. “Oh! Okay! So... that's a yes? To the date?”

“Yes, Wei Ying.”

“Nice. That's... that's great. How does tomorrow sound?”

“Tomorrow is fine.”

“I'm looking forward to it,” Wei Ying says. It only occurs to him now he's still on the bed and there's all this distance between them. He takes a seat beside Lan Zhan, nudging him gently. “What do you think we should do?”

Lan Zhan's smile is so small that it's easy to miss. The softness in his gaze, however, makes Wei Ying's stomach flip over.

“Anything,” Lan Zhan says.

“I don't mind either. I can show you around Cleveland!”

“Hm.”

For the rest of that day, Wei Ying finds it easier to smile and laugh. As expected, Jiejie comments on it and teases him until he tells her he's got a date with Lan Zhan tomorrow. She cheers for him and makes him promise to tell her all about it, reminding him she'll find out sooner or later anyway if he doesn't. Once Jiang Cheng hears the news, he scoffs and leaves the room. Even that's not enough to ruin Wei Ying's mood.

“I'm excited for you, A-Ying,” Jiejie says, beaming at him. “It's so good to see you being happy.”

Happy? Wei Ying has to pause at that. Is he happy?

He looks down at his hands and thinks back to Lan Zhan, who is waiting outside for him as usual. A smile tugs on his lips before he can stop it.

Maybe he is happy. Whatever this is, it's a nice feeling. He glances back up at Jiejie and lets out a small laugh.